Squirting Orgasms

This year for the holidays, give the girl your boffing what she really wants. Forget the purse, the necklace, and the bag of skittles; save your hard earned cash and make her vagina explode.

Today I’ll outline the 10 easy steps it takes to leave her in a glistening mess of sex fluids.

1. Precursor

Before you even get near that vagina, you’re going to need to distinct yourself from other men and get her comfortable around you. Fuse yourself with her mental topography. Experience the world with her through your senses and let them traverse at will as there is no faster way to extinguish her ignited desire than with logic. In this step, all that’s involved is her exposure into your web. You two are having fun intertwining together.

2. Vagina Anatomy 1001

It helps to have a map of her insides so you can plot a course directly to a squirting orgasm. I’m not a doctor, just a captain, but here’s my brief summary of VA1001. Her clitoris is shaped like a wishing bone around her vaginal opening and bulb of vestibule. By putting something (your penis, your fingers, a baseball bat) inside of the opening, you’re expanding both sides of her crus clitoris outwards via intersecting point O (this is what I call it because I’m not sure if its the G-Spot). Each time I have gotten girls to squirt, it has always been in positions where point O is most stimulated. Keep this in mind.

3. Hydration

Something very simple but can often be overlooked. She wont be a fire hydrant if she’s dehydrated. Make sure that pussy is hydrated and you’ll be rewarded with vaginal lubrication and the satisfaction of getting her off if that’s your thing.

4. Positioning

Get yourself and her comfortable on a table or bed with some towls laid down. It’s ideal to have her lying comfortably with you sitting or standing at her side depending on which hand you will be using. Also, if your going to be doing this on your bed, make sure to have a waterproof covers to protect your mattress. Having vaginal fluids all over your mattress is not hygienic and is very uncomfortable to sleep on.

5. Lubrication

Pour out some lubricant over and inside her vagina. You don’t need to get fancy, olive or grape seed oil are common items around the house that are great for the skin. Reapply when necessary.

6. Spider-Man

Adopt the correct hand position and then insert it inside her vagina. Once inside, your pinky and index finger will be pointed down towards her butt and your middle and ring finger pointed up perpendicular to her body. This gesture is the exactly same gesture used by Spider-Man when shooting webs from his wrists which leads me to believe that one or both of the original creators of the fictional character, Stan Lee, or Steve Ditko, were in fact, raging master lotharios.

7. Optimizing Point O Contact

Hold her pubic bone down so that your middle and ring fingers make contact with point O.

8. Hand Movements

All you do now is move your hand up and down hitting point O from Step 2. Don’t be a little bitch about this, take charge and show some aggression. If anything is bothering her, she’ll let you know. Remember, babies come out of this thing. It’s made to take a beating.

9. Induced Body Tremors

Be aware of her body twitching and watch out for fluttering limbs. Getting kicked in the face will probably ruin the experience. Also, she might flip off the table or bed so avoid that by keeping her body planted if necessary.

10. Rehydration

Give her some Gatorade so that she doesn’t become dehydrated. Dehydration is a serious matter defined as an excessive loss of body water. If you followed Steps 1 through 10 correctly then she has definitely lost an excessive amount of bodily fluids. Recognize the signs and symptoms and prevent them before they happen.

***

Extra Tips

Following Step 2, positions I’ve used in the past to get her squirting with my dick have been fucking her hard with her legs over my shoulders, or tapping that ass from behind doggy style. A girl can also do it herself via reverse cowgirl. What you want to keep in mind is how your cock is hitting point O.

An important part of keeping a girl is giving her some great sex. You want to jackhammer that pussy like you’re about to be thrown in a maximum-security prison with zero chance of parole.  Take everything inside of her; fuck her so aggressively until all that’s left is her involuntarily shaking body smeared with a concoction of sex fluids then do it again.

Every woman has an inner nympho that wants to be desired and released. Let that hoe out and then pay it with a good fucking.

Merry Christmas Planet Earth

Putting That Bitch In Line

Last Saturday I went out in Winnipeg, Manitoba to a club called Stereo. At the entrance, my friend and I were having a casual fun conversation when one of the 4 girls in front of us blatantly tells her girlfriends that I’m touching her like some creepy, perverted dude who touches girls inappropriately.

My left hand is in my jean pocket, and my right holding a jacket. I’m outraged by her bullshit. She is either accusing me of being a chubby chaser or that she is an attractive, desirable woman; neither of which is true.

With a calm straight face I instruct her to turn around and face me and then I tell her, “Your fat.”

I know I struck my intended mark like a GPS guided M982 Excalibur Artillery shell (Accurate up to 40-57 kilometers with a circular error probable of 5 meters), fucking obliterating her night and soul when I see her face cringe like it’s about to cry.

(I know I’m horrible, shut up.)

One of her friends immediately jumps at me like an angry fat hippo, shouting, for a good 5 minutes.

I calmly state that I wasn’t touching her and that her friend is a false rape accusation waiting to happen. People go to jail for stupid shit like that.

“You just don’t say that to a girl. Your so skinny I bet I could knock you out” She says.

“You sound really tough!” I respond, amusing myself.

The screaming continues. At this point I was expecting to get slapped, punched, or maybe even kicked, something an angry fat girl would do, but I hold my ground because I didn’t do anything wrong.

Eventually, the girl who never shuts up approaches my left ear and whispers with a fun, jovial voice, “To be honest, I barely know her. It’s just not something you say to a girl. How about you buy us some drinks?”

Not only does this girl, and the 3 others physical appearance repulse me but her poor character is now cemented.

“Buy you a drink? Fuck no, you should tell your fat friend to buy me a drink for being such a fucking dramatic looser.” I say.

She responds with a laugh and insists I buy her a drink. Somewhere in her primal brain, she must suddenly think we’re friends.

We’re nearing the metal detector at the entrance now. The 4 girls get in except the angry hippo, who is stopped by the bouncer and is told to leave because she is too drunk. On top of that, the fat friend who said I was touching her looks back at me in shame. I think I saw a tear running down her chubby face.

I feel fucking great.

***

Some readers might say that I should have taken the high road and ignored her thickheaded comment. I think thats the wrong way to do it. In my view, when someone attacks you with the intention of harm, you retaliate. You counterattack so hard that they think twice before ever doing what they did again.

Who knows, maybe I saved some guy from a false rape accusation down the road.

***

On a personal note, with all the fat chick chatter about about my physical size, maybe its actually subconscious jealousy thats coming out.

History Repeats Itself

 

***

Personal Taste Or Racism?

Someone I met early in Montreal took me out one Friday night. We got to know each other on the drive down to Muzique, talking about game, girls, life, guy talk. I revealed that I wanted to get good enough to teach game one day.

“What makes you qualified for that?” He asked.

I honestly had no idea how to respond. “Just approaching, getting laid, getting results. Do it enough, find your faults, and you’ll eventually get good with women.”

It became quiet in the car.

Eventually, he told me he was fucking a black chick. “Dude, I could never do that.” I responded.

“That’s racist.” He accused.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t even be down for Rihanna. I’m only down for white chicks [and latinas].”

[I know this because I know myself.]

“What? That’s weird.” Again, silence.

When we get to Muzique, he orders a bottle of Grey Goose and then our group chills around the liquor. This is not my regular modus operandi so I go about checking out the rest of the club for the first time, but realize I’m not getting any love.

I see him buying a drunk slut girl a drink and then have her walk away immediately to another guy and do the same thing. She probably didn’t even say thank you. That’s rough.

I leave Muzique and walk to Mckibbins Irish Pub buzzed from all that premium brand vodka to see if there any girls I’d want to get jiggy with.

I end up meeting a cool, white girl that night. We dated over a few weeks but she wouldn’t put out. That’s rough too, not to mention frustrating so it died. No big deal.

***

Last week, I re-dabbled into online dating being isolated in the farthest reach of brown town Brampton, Ontario.

After a few messages, the girl I’m talking to accuses me of being an “Asian traitor” because I’m also not down for Asian chicks. If you haven’t noticed, only white and latin chicks sexually arouse me. This got me thinking again to that one night where Muzique guy accused me of being a chauvinistic.

***

I once gave dating an Asian girl a go. She was a model (facial symmetry is important), tall, and one year older than me. No physical deformities other than a flat ass.

The first time we went out, everything was cool and we instantly clicked but ultimately, she freaked out and said her ego couldn’t take dating a guy who was younger than her. What ever.

She was the only Asian I’ve ever dated and will probably be the last because that shit is weird and Asians remind me of my mother.

***

To the people who think I’m a racist, you guys are fucking retarded.

I’ll make the comparison to ice cream. Some people like eating vanilla more than chocolate. Some like both. Everyone’s different.

(I like vanilla and chocolate, especially when they mix it at McDonalds just fyi.)

I respond mentally to what my body tells me. What it tells me is that white chicks give me boners… And latina’s (this is still new to me).  Know who you are and know what you like.

***

Muzique guy told me before we entered the club that he wasn’t really into the black chick. She was just the only person putting out for him.

The ego will react defensively when it senses an attack. In this case, I unintentionally attacked him by not being down for black chicks, insulting his preferences and belittling his game by saying I wanted to improve mine.

I’m A Motherfucker

Some of you may be wondering if I ever ended up fucking Ashley, the girl who inspired this blog. Here’s the story.

Right before I left for Montreal I started selling off some things around the house for extra cash to spend on hookers and blow.

That day, I was making a sale via Craigslist in regards to an Acer computer monitor at Lougheed Skytrain (metro) station.

I arrive early and as I’m walking to the predestinated meeting location, I run into Ashley.

Its the first time I see her smoking so I come greet her because we haven’t spoken since that night the door hit her face. Something like that can be a little embarrassing for a girl so I left it to cool off.

She has a small scar on her face. “Hey Ashley, how you doing?” I say.

She says something I don’t remember. “Blah blah blah”

“What are you doing today?” I ask.

“It’s my day off. Nothing planned. “ She responds.

“Well I’m going to sell this computer monitor to someone. Come with me.” I suggest.

“Ok”

We talk as she follows me across the street to Lougheed Mall. I’m grabbing Ashley’s butt as we walk around while waiting for my buyer to show up. He arrives; I meet him in front of The Bay and do my business while Ashley patiently waits.

Ashley and I then get onto a bus and head towards my house; it’s a 30-minute ride. I’m making fun of her things and playing with what ever I can get my hands on.

We finally get home. I tell her to take off her heels like any other Asian and then I lead her into my quarters. My brother is in the next room playing Warcraft or something like that, maybe Diablo.

She jumps on top of me as soon as we get onto my bed and we start making out. There’s no resistance from her at all other then being shy about her small tits. I notice she stuffs them but I don’t care. Her great ass makes up for it. Today she just wants to get fucked so who better to do the job!

I drag Ashley’s face down between my legs and she starts sucking my dick. I notice that she’s trying to take me down her throat but is having a hard time, gagging, tearing up, etc. I start laughing to myself and tell her I appreciate what she’s trying to do but its just not working out.

I already know she reads this blog so I’m assuming she’s trying to compete with one of my top three girls. Fail. I’ll give her lessons some other time.

Ashley sucks, slurps and slobbers all over my hard cock as I’m lying on my back thinking about how I’m getting domes while my brother is playing computer games. There’s nothing but a thin North American wall in between him and me. This amuses me greatly.

I start fucking her wet and tight vajoina but the sex is uninspired. I thought she’d be more energetic but am disappointed so I start slapping her awake and choking her out while on top, from behind, upside-down, the whole shebang topping it off with my thumb up her ass. She likes this.

At one point while I’m plonking her from behind, she tells me that I’m choking her too hard. I’m not actually trying to hurt the poor girl here so I ease up a bit. This distracts me from my rhythm.

Eventually as she’s on top riding me, I start coming so slap her ass and grip the back of her head, shoving her mouth onto my boner because that’s where I want to shoot my satan seed. Ashley suddenly gets a jolt of energy, quickly moving her face back onto my cock because she knows what’s about to happen.

“Finally, some enthusiasm.” I say.

Her warm, sultry lips wrap around my pussy juice covered, throbbing dick like a high powered Dyson Handheld Vacuum cleaner and starts working my load out until I finish; busting my DNA in her mouth.

She makes sure not to miss one drop of protein, licking up any driblets that failed to hit their target and swallows it all like any good girl who is pleasing her man should.

We rest in bed for 10 minutes relaxing then she tells me she has to go pick up her daughter or something like that. I walk her to the bus stop, arm in arm, helping her walk down the hill leading up to my house like any gentleman should then return home and take a nap.

She was my first mom and also my British Flag. Sometimes you just get lucky and everything falls smoothly into place.

***

I was thinking about fucking her when I get back to Vancouver for the holiday but found out she cut her hair short. I don’t see it happening.

I Met A Male Feminist Last Night

I walk into a pizza parlour on Saint Laurent Boulevard after a night out to get a late snack.

Other then meeting a cool sexy Croatian bartender who turned out to be in a 3 year long relationship, the night was relatively uneventful and full of old people. Oh, and I lost a game of pool to an Asian guy without even sinking one ball. He thought I’d get mad but who gets upset over a game of pool?

I order 2 Hawaiian pizzas and add a touch of ranch and hot pepper flakes. I like my food hot.

There aren’t a lot of people inside but I notice a guy who looks like Wiz Khalifa (minus the tattoos) and so I sit down and start talking to him and his Venezuelan friend.

For some reason or another we start talking about women and how Wiz Khalifa claims to be a feminist. Confused about his castration but curious, I press on, asking questions.

“Women aren’t paid equally as men” Wiz Khalifa boldly states.

At this point I’m not sober so I come up with my own idea of why that’s the case.

“That doesn’t make sense. If a man and a women go work at McDonalds, they will both be paid equally using the same pay scale.” I rebuttal.

“No that not true!” He says, with no supporting facts.

I persist. “I guess you can argue that since men have held more jobs throughout history, there would be a higher sum of men working therefore the total monetary volume of all men would be greater than that for women.” I say, not sure if I made sense. Blame it on the alcohol?

“No! We’re not talking about that!” Wiz Khalifa responds.

“In the past women would depend on men for income but now, because they can acquire jobs to support themselves, there’s no consequence for being a slut or leaving a man. This might be an indicator of why divorce rates are higher. ” I bring up, trying to keep this steamy debate going!

Venezuelan guy joins the conversation. “In my country, you don’t see so many girls act the way they do here.” He says to Wiz Khalifa.

Wiz Khalifa scowls him.

“Any girl can fuck who ever she wants but its not attractive knowing that she’s been through the whole football team. That shit ain’t classy.” I continue. “Men and women are different and we both look at each other differently. As a guy, I’m first going to assess a women based on her appearance because that’s just what guys do. Women also do this but not to the same extreme.” I say.

Wiz Khalifa’s jaw drops to the floor. “That’s misogynistic!” He squeals at me.

I’m now perplexed. “Does Wiz Khalifa even know what misogynistic means?” I ask myself.

“What are you talking about dude, I don’t hate women.” I respond.

He calls me misogynistic again.

“Dude, its basic human biology. Most animals do the same thing!” I say to him with his friend hesitantly agreeing with me. I’m now trying to remember the name of that bird that uses it’s big feathers to attract mates but at the moment it slips my mind.

[The bird I was thinking of was a peacock.]

Wiz Khalifa walks out of the pizza parlour leaving behind a slice of his estrogen covered pepperoni pizza.

Being an uncastrated man who doesn’t throw untenable temper tantrums, I have examined a few articles linked above diving deeper into the thesis.

First

The gender pay gap is explained in eight easy to read points by a man. Following his article, the United States Department of Labour released another article analyzing the reasons for the discrepancy between male and female workers composed under contract by the CONSAD Research Corporation. Finally The Wall Street Journal released their own findings. We cannot come to any conclusion that the arbitrary numbers from pay gap discordance are due to the sexes. Not everyone has the same job and works at an equal level.

Second

Its incontrovertible that men and women are different. The obvious, men have balls (some have manginas) and women have vaginas; and the not so obvious, science telling us that we have different synapses in the brain which ultimately lead to different emotions, traits, mannerisms, impulses, aspirations, etc. Diversity is good though and each sex excels at different cognitive functions. Of course, each person is different, for example, Wiz Khalifa’s temporal neocortex most likely does not have the same median density as most men.

[For those who didn’t read the article, the temporal neocortex is associated with social and emotional processing.]

Third

Sexual market value proven. The study above done by a Radbound University psychologist, Johan Karremans, shows that the desires of heterosexual blind men are the same as those men with sight. He used two manequins, one with a hip-to-waist ratio (W.H.R.) of 0.7, compared to 0.84. 0.7 representing a slim woman and 0.84 representing the average (“doesn’t represent obesity, just a fullness” Aka American) woman’s shape. To be sure that the men have never seen the magnificent, svelte figures of a woman before, the subjects involved were men who have been sightless from birth, because of this, the study represents men who have been unpolluted by visual media.

[S]ighted and blind men both strongly favored the mannequin with the lower W.H.R., but this slimmer-waisted body received especially high scores from the men with sight, maybe because a life spent amid cultural signals compounds the work of evolution. Still, the gropings of Karremans’s blind offer a glimpse into the ancestral depths of our desires.

So what is feminism really?

Feminism is a rejection of womanly qualities. Feminists are obsessed and fighting over being “good enough or better” than men. There is a difference. Men and women aren’t by nature meant to be the same. Theres a reason why in most sports, the sexes are kept separate.

Feminist are the misogynist.

Its their hate of their own femininity and women that drive them to abandon everything that makes women so sublime. It’s the tool, the child, the Wiz Khalifa’s, that keep their flame burning in society, repudiating femininity.

You can’t even open a door for a girl today without eventually having one tell you she can do it herself. Then you have girls saying that chivalry is dead. It’s lamented because of the feminist who try to live up to a man’s standards.

The Croatian bartender I met earlier that night exuded femininity from the moment I saw her and so I did what any gentleman would do, I bought her a drink and fostered my time with her. She reciprocated and bought me a beer, and we talked about how her feet hurt, travelling, her childhood, exploiting drunk men, etc, until I told her I had to leave. She visually became overwrought as I told her (and theres nothing wrong with revealing your emotions if your a girl).

Hold dear to a girl who hasn’t been tainted, and shit on the souls of those who are destroying a dying breed.

***

I have nothing against Wiz Khalifa, it was just the most accurate way to describe the clown.

Logistics Or Celibacy

Today I want to emphasize the importance of having good logistics for quick no fuss emotionless sex.

I’ve had horrible logistics for a long time now. Lets break it down.

Vancouver

• One hour and fifteen minutes away from Granville Street by public transportation
• $80 cab fare home or night bus
• Lived with mama

Winnipeg

• Lived in the ghetto
• $40 cab fare from most venues
• Stayed with grandma and uncle

Toronto

• One hour drive away from Downtown Toronto
• Cab and public transportation not an option
• Stayed with aunt, uncle, cousin, her baby, annoying dog

Early Montréal

• One hour away from Saint Laurent Boulevard by public transportation
• One hour and twenty minutes away from Crescent Street by public transportation
• $30 cab fare home
• Lived with aunt, uncle, 4 cousins, and 2 dogs

Now I live across the street from the busy part of Saint Laurent and on my first night out with new logistics, I got laid. This was after a rough dry spell first arriving in the city (I went out on dates).

Sure I could have gone to the girl’s place but that wouldn’t workout unless under perfect circumstances (I’ll write about this perfect circumstance in one of my following posts). Bringing a girl back to a full house would have pissed off my aunt. I like to blame the reasons above but a man doesn’t make excuses, he finds a solutions.

The magical formula to having quick sex is having good logistics. Being able to say, “I live just down the street” is going to be 50% part of your game. The other 50% is just being a cool guy with a huge cock.

If you really want to score more ass through cold approach, logistics is key. Now go and look for an apartment or houses close to your game locations and get your dick wet men of the internet.